Banned from zoo.
Again?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize