It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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