Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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