I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
