There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
