and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
