So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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