I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Randomize
