There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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