It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
