...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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