U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
