Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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