Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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