Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
