It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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