Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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