Having a random hookup so left but love u
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize