In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize