I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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