walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize