Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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