Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
