It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
