It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
