I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize