well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
