Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
