theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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