Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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