i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
