get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
