Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
oh god the rape fog is back!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
