Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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