I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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