we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my being single is dangerous.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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