He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I need water and some morals
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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