Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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