and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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