Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
