I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
