Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
