Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My pussy is not your playground.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
