Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
