only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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