Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
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just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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