At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This is my gift to your gina
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
