kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You did what with his pubic hair?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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