Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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