Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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