Say something about gay babies.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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