you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
