I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
