Don't you send me to vm
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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