Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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