How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
