Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
