I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
