i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
