So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
